For some reason, they gave me a rant column.  Excellent.

You know what makes me rant?  Facebook users attempting some semblance of fame by reposting pictures.  I refuse to know any by name, but let me browse my news feed for 13 seconds.


Here’s an incredibly infuriating example: 1 million “likes” and my dad quits drugs.  Please help.  Yes, that’s real.  In this case, that’s a business/fan page, but this also happens when a person allows subscribers.

And guess what?  We as users put that person in this position.  And so did Facebook.

Here’s how the game works.  Feel free to play along.

1)  Set your personal Facebook to enable subscriptions.

2)  Start posting cute pictures you steal from Google.  Cats, grandmas, small babies- it will all work.  Caption it… something like “CLICK LIKE IF YOU DON’T HATE CATS” or “CLICK LIKE IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR GRANDMA TO DIE”.  Again, yes, that’s a real thing.  And you’ve probably seen it.

3)  Wait for the viral nature of Facebook to populate your terrible posts (via likes and shares) to the unsuspecting newsfeeds of Facebook’s 800 million plus real users.

4)  Acquire more likes for your ‘awesome and original content’.

5)  ??????

6)  Profit.

There you have it.  In a bold move to force business pages to upload better, more engaging content, Facebook opened this Pandora’s Box of viral insanity.

Our only option now is to unsubscribe from likes and comments.

In the news feed, hover over the top-right corner of that news story.  Click.  Bottom option.  After a few days of this, you won’t have to deal with it anymore.

Feel free to poke a bit of fun at anyone on your friends list engaging in this obnoxious behaviour.